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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Happy New Year-Happy New Quest!

Long time no speak. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season shared with people who matter. I did.

One person in particular touched me this Christmas. "K" Thankfully, we're related, but even if we weren't, I'd seek her out and make her a part of my life.

K read my blogs faithfully- lifted my spirits when they were down- and tried her best to push me farther in my new quest for fitness with a gentleness afforded only to puppies and newborns.

She'd give me THE look across the table, usually littered with waffle remnants and maple syrup. (Yeah, I know, remnants, who am I trying to kid? ) "5 minutes?" she'd ask. I would try my darnedest to ignore her, or pretend to be enraptured in ANY conversation I could attach myself to, but she would simply caulk her eyebrow and quietly repeat, "5 minutes?"

I'd then acknowledge her with either a grunt or a nod and defeatedly go into my room and rummage through my tight-fitting wardrobe for something, anything, I could wear to, ugh, exercise in. Damn her!

With a spring in her step, and a marked determination in her eyes, she would gear up and coax me out the door. OK- more like push me out the door.

Now I was at her mercy. God Help Me.

HMPH. No yelling. No screaming. No looking up to the skies, or mumbling under her breath.

Pleasant conversation. Good advice on fitness. No judgements. HMPH. Who knew?!

Then.....................she said it. I knew it was coming.

"OK let's run now!" BURST goes my beautiful, pleasant exercise fantasy.

I begin to sputter, and heave. My deafening heartbeat is drowning out the car sounds all around me. My stomach is churning. IS that sweat pouring down the crack of my "behind'??? Take me now Jesus, I beg. Mercifully, my master, tells me to slow down and begin to walk again. "Good job!" she says, as she proceeds to wave at me and carry on RUNNING away from me. "Keep walking" she yells back.

I thank every God I can muster and carry on walking, thankful that SHE has ran up ahead and left me. Good riddance!

Suddenly I spot a tiny pink dot approaching. Can it be? No. Why on earth would the Master back-track towards me? Is it? OMG IT IS!!

With her rosy cheeks, and steady breathing (God I hate her) she sweetly asks if I'm ready to run again. AGAIN? RUN? Is she for real?

She was. Oh -so -sweetly mind you, but she was serious. And then she did it to me again and again.

I did not enjoy the exercise. But I did enjoy the experience. I enjoyed the fact that when my Master pushed me out of my comfortable little cushy box, I reacted and actually did it.

I miss her. Terribly.

She has taken to stalking me via the Internet with fitness and weight-training plans.


Without her gentle prodding, I don't know if I have the discipline to do it for myself, but in her honor, I will try.

Thanks Master.

PS. Got through Xmas without puffing-but it was VERY hard.

Crantini-induced "buzzes" scream for a side order of I opted for more crantinis until the craving passed.

Gee, I wonder if all alcoholics started this way??????


  1. Man oh man, are you a good writer. Seriously, you would be such an ace columnist; I think the Time-Colonist could use your particular brand of humour. Tears in my eyes from laughing and/or from love, can't really tell which. At's my girl keep up the good work and wait for the endorphins to do their thing.

  2. Hi Marge! Good on you for being 'puff-free' over the holidays! As for your 'Master', your descriptions were spot on and brought instant images to mind! I got one of those looks (dog related though) and knew it :)

    Keep strong, and let C's reminders motivate you until your body and spirit are ready to get you exercising on your own!