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Friday, September 4, 2009

Don't push that button.......

Day four. The dragon lady has arrived.

Let me set the stage. Long story, short. New neighbors are building a MONSTROSITY of a house at the back of our property. 7500 square feets worth, to be exact. This has caused us to have to replace all existing blinds with ridiculously expensive new blinds to fit our ridiculously oversized patio doors. Did I mention that the existing blinds were broken last week? They sag on one side and THIS DRIVES ME INSANE!

..........earlier this morning.......

(scene 0ne) Husband happily sipping coffee, eating his oatmeal and reading the paper. In walks in the dragon lady.

(scene two) Dragon lady eagerly pouring her first cup of coffee, when, gasp, she notices that the blind is askew---AGAIN! Hurriedly she sets out to "fix" them as her husband innocently JUST SITS THERE. Not a smart move on his part. Dragon lady gets so frustrated she simply grabs the scissors and cuts the blinds right off the window.

(scene three) Husband then makes fatal mistake of saying "now I'll have to hang a towel in that window" to which the dragon lady responds with spewing fire balls. Don't much remember the conversation after that. All I know is that the husband quietly left the house without usual kiss good-bye and well- wishes for the day. Good riddance. How DARE he question me? I am, after all, the mistress of this house and I have not yet put on my patch for the day!!!!!!!!!!

On the outside, I look like I have it beat.

But I do miss the "act" of smoking, I really do.

To the ones I love most, I heed this warning, "please don't make the dragon lady come out".


  1. OMG, laughing hysterically, poor you, poor Phil, still I so get the whole askew blind thing. On the bright side, you may have reacted similarly (though perhaps slightly less psycho) even if your were still smoking. I mean c'mon they were askew. Still I didn't quite get if you cut the old blinds or the new ones, clarify please, where you're not spitting fireballs. Love you and proud of you!!!

  2. No I cut the old blinds......the new ones aren't even ordered yet. Gonna need to renew the mortgage to buy THEM. Yeah, yeah, poor poor Philly. He should learn to zip it!!!!! Funny in retrospect though....kisses to J and j and to you too xoxoxox