I made it to day three. Miracle of miracles.
My pre-occupation of having a cigarette (such a pretty word, isn't it?, kind of like "cake"-another one of my favorite words, Im afraid) has now morphed. The "cleanse" has kicked in and I am constantly running to the loo. Aye ya yaye. Who knew? Quit smoking AND lose weight. Such a concept! It really does help to re-direct your efforts.
I proudly announced to my youngest son (15 and EXTREMELY unenthusiastic) that I had conquered day two and he nonchalantly answers "...whatever....you've done this before and started up again". I was crushed. I guess I should have known better. Unless I'm carrying hot food, am behind the wheel, or am opening my wallet, he really doesn't pay me much mind these days. Boys... Experience has taught me that this too shall pass and that within a year, my sweet boy will be comfortable enough to show me he loves me again. I live in hopes....
One ray of light is that my beautiful vivacious daughter is chirping about quitting too. They are just rumblings right now but I am hoping that she will follow my example. Doesn't hurt that I have banned all smoking anywhere even remotely in my vicinity.
Funny how our children can go from needing our constant direction to directing us. It all happens SO quickly. My eldest son was the one who, quite frankly, shamed me into this last attempt at quitting. He made me realize how selfish it would be to him, to not have me in his childrens lives. I know that there are no guarantees, but I am a gambler and I also know that you have to play smart, and that its not all about luck.
I lost my own Dad at 15. He was a 2-pack a day smoker. Like I said....I should know better. He never got to meet any of his 11 grandchildren and let me tell you, they were all worth sticking around for. No one is bulletproof.
I guess you've noticed that Im not counting the hours any more. One hurdle jumped.
Thanks for letting me vent, it really helps.