I am amazed that I have turned my back so completely on such a good friend, companion, confidante, crutch.
Me, of little willpower when it comes to self-denial and even less character when it comes to self-discipline.
To be totally honest with you all, I didn't think I would be successful. I LOVED smoking. If you remember, I did this, not for either my health or wellness, but at the urging of my eldest son. I just couldn't take "the look" from him anymore. He shamed me into this.
Smoking is fully accepted in my inner sanctum. Many close friends and family indulge quite openly and happily.
What baffles me is this sudden repulsion that I physically feel in both my nostrils and the pit of my stomach as I pass a smoker. HOW and WHEN did that happen?!
OMG! DID I SMELL THAT BAD????? ugh.
OK. One demon down.
Now onto another stark truth. I am gaining weight. 8 pounds to be exact.
OMG!!! DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE THIS????? ugh.
But I tell those awful doubts and insecurities in my head that "If I can turn my back on my good buddy SMOKING, I can conquer my apathy and reluctance to get off my couch and face my other demon......exercise".
I feel another QUEST comin' on........