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Monday, September 14, 2009

TWO WEEKS!!!!!! Feels like forever.

To weeks have come and gone, already. AND it seems like it took an eternity to get to this milestone. Both are true.

Physically: no more coughing, no more constant phlegm and throat clearing , no more congestion every morning, no more stinky hair, breath, and my clothing smells of my perfume not like an ashtray. You'd think I'd be ecstatic.

Why then do all my senses perk up when I walk by a smoker? My head contorts just to sneak a whiff of that second-hand smoke that should revolt and disgust me...... tell me, how can that smell good to me? Most people (like my best friend V. ) make "that face" when they smell tobacco--usually followed by a terse "ugh, my friend, you stink.!" To me, it conjures up memories of leisurely walks and intimate conversations and mountains of cups of teas and coffees shared over a cig. It never failed to surprise me at outings, that all the nicest people were huddled together outside in the rain, snow, sleet or wind puffing away, sharing their stories and lamenting how we were being prosecuted simply because we were part of the "undesireable" smokers club.

Smokers ARE the nicest people.

I miss being one of them, yet I know I have to be.

I hope to discover the joy of exercise. (I NEVER HAVE BEFORE-but I'm told by loved ones that this is the logical "next step" in conquering the quitting battle. Yeah, right. I HATE exercise-always have, probably always will. But I am left with little will to fight them.

Its good for the heart.

But what about the soul??????

Ok Ok.

I'll go for a damn walk.

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