Well, I had my first dinner get together, complete with good wine, great food, dear friends, family, and NO cigarettes...................well, at least not for me.
It was a perfect fall day . The house was clean. No soccer games. Husband cleaning up the old potted plants, kids cleaning their rooms. All in all, the perfect day.
I always seem to invite friends and family to my table when I feel so contented. Somehow sharing the feeling helps to create a solid "memory". Don't ask me why. Probably can be explained by my Italian roots. Happiness=food. (but then again, ANY sentiment in an Italian household =food!)
Only after the menu was planned and the guests were invited did it occur to me that all but 1 person would be a non-smoker. YIKES.
What the hell am I going to do now?
Thoughts of parties passed floated through my head all afternoon. The nostalgia was intoxicating. I craved a cigarette. I would have sold my soul for one.
But I carried on, cooking, preparing for my guests, and wanting......
You know sometimes the anticipation is much worse than the actual event. Thankfully it was for me, this time, anyways. We drank, we ate, we laughed, and then THEY went out for their "after-dinner' smoke. Dread.
But you know, it wasn't so bad after all.
They're a considerate bunch. They went far away from me, so I could not see it or smell it. I busied myself with the clean-up ( come to think of it, NOT fair, since I did all the cooking!) but I digress.
All this to say that I passed test number 2. Maybe not with flying colors because I did let it corrupt my thoughts all afternoon, but I still didn't have nary a puff!!! To someone with absolutely no discipline, this is a milestone.
I also realize that just because I chose to quit, I cannot put it upon others not to indulge when in my presence. Something my beloved husband tried so hard to do last night. Although I appreciated the thought, I knew that I was the one who had to change not everyone around me.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm building character.