Well, today is THE day, hopefully. I smoked my last cigarette last night at 8:30 pm, outside on my deck. I smoked it to the filter, burned my lips. Tasted soooooooo good. Funny how I know I will always remember the date of my last cigarette and not the day my firstborn took his first step. Sad.
Why quit? I can assure you, that I am not putting myself through this hell for myself. I love smoking. I love the anticipation of pulling it out of the package (and No, the disgusting images of rotting, festering teeth do not make the cigarette less appealing to a smoker), the inevitable search for the lighter, the way the flame and the cigarette meet and then, yes, oh yes, then, that first sweet puff, the deep breath, the pure joy of having that smoke permiate your lungs and of course the release of the sweet smoke, out there somewhere......Sounds wonderful doesn't it?
I am doing this for my children, for the chance to see my children's children. I have to mention at this point that my motto in life is and will always be "Go big or go home". In otherwords, I have no discipline. Zero. Nil. I am my own best friend, I never deny myself anything.
Yeah, go ahead and laugh. Well, here we go, day one, hour 5. So far, so good. Co-workers still alive. We'll see if I kill a husband later....stay tuned.
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Ah, I love this, welcome welcome welcome my darling fellow blogger, enjoy the journey, both the quitting and the writing. I look forward to accompanying you on the trip. Love you lots! xxxx
ReplyDeleteMarge -- You knew my Mom when you were in Cardston. Back then she was a smoker -- as in 2 pack a day and had been since I could ever remember. In 1986 something amazing happened --> I came back from SAIT for Spring Break in February and Gloria said: "Did you notice Mom quit smoking?" I looked at her like she was imagining things (and we all KNOW my sister has a more active than normal imagination). So, I watched Mom -- finally that evening as we were sitting playing Crib and watching TV, I asked: "Mom, did you quit smoking?" Her response: "For today I choose not to smoke." As it turns out, Brian Mulroney had raised the price of cigarettes while she was a respiratory infection and physically couldn't smoke. She decided she would be "Damned if I am going to give that Crook another penny of my money."
ReplyDeleteShe never smoked again -- she did use the nicotine gum to quit and it helped.
You know the BEST part of her quitting -- in 1998 when I had my daughter, Mom came to Edmonton for a visit. While she was at our house she had a heart attack. Not only did she survive the heart attack, the angioplasty she had gave her TEN YEARS of relatively good health. I told her frequently that her quitting smoking was a GIFT to me and to Siobhan -- if Mom hadn't quit smoking I have no doubt the heart attack in 1998 would have killed her not to mention the fact the doctors would have been less inclined to invest resources in treating her.
SO, you are NOT quitting smoking for just you and Phil -- but for your KIDS and the GRANDBABIES you will someday have. I KNOW you want to be around for them -- give THEM the gift of knowing you. My daughter was 10 when Mom died and she has amazing memories and shared experience she will hold in her heart forever. . . .